Please tell me what you think of these song lyrics I wrote.?

Be eccentric, be unique be who you want to be.





The door closes.


The night ends.


Moon rises again.


Stars shine under a dark shadow,


and beams through a darkened window,


and we all fall back in to the earth's pattern.


Eyes shut,


Words are short cutted,


Ending the rucus,


Silence train comes our way from, the


rail road of the days events.


We prevent our minds from swinging with the pain that presents itself in our heads.


Little whispers, little whispers there,


Children now snoring dreaming with out a care.


Dreaming of being a part of the earth's future.


Life sleeps, life lives, under this moon, under this nature.





We wake,


We sleep,


We bath,


We eat,


We take,


A break,


with lifes own beat.





The door closes


the day begans.


the suns rises again.


Light shines over trees.


And beams through windows,


onto sleepy cheeks.


Eyes are open,


were coopen


with the future in hand.


The train of a new day, immeditally pushes us ahead.


We get on the bus, or head out to work.


Going to places that we think we were,


Already did this yesterday,


I'm stuck in a routine, and from day to day,


I just need to escape.


Commotion, people talking here.


Children day dreaming with out a care.


Dreaming of being a part of the future.


Life sleeps, life lives, under this sun, under this nature.





Chorus





Sometimes I feel lost.


Like Life just cost to much


to even go on.


But then I see the love,


The focus that is smogged,


the mission that is long,


that potential that we've all got.


Generation come,


Generation go,


Every nation stands,


because of every single man that carries a heavy load.


Family found, or family gone,


living with in this generation,


A nation and a hope found in us all.


Dream to succed, and advanced out of the fog.

Please tell me what you think of these song lyrics I wrote.?
Hi Juefawn...I think your song is very nice...it is hopeful, and positive...also...I don't think it hurts that others have done the same thing...some of the greatest themes in songs are repeated throughout the centuries...people actually like that...it is not a perfect song but is very strong...I think it is good to critique the works of others but I find it repugnant that some do so with such arrogance and cruelty...that apparently gives them some delight...actually humans stopped eating their young a long time ago....
Reply:sound nice..... it really does :)
Reply:i think u need to copyright this b4 it gets stolen....... 4 reals


-_-


cuz its pretty damn good
Reply:It's decent, but I feel like i have heard that before. So many bands sing about the same thing, you need to be just a little more original. But it's a good start.
Reply:when you sing about the sun riseing you should say up again
Reply:this is nothing everyone doesnt know
Reply:it's awesome but, i agree with martini.





i think you ought to delete this song from this site before someone gets there hands on it.